I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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