I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize