Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
