Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize