singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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