she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
