If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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