Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
