So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
