that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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