8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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