you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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