i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
