Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
