what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize