That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
