:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
