Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
