yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
