I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just found a bag of teeth...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
