yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
