she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
