Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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