The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
There's even glitter on my cock...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
