man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
