She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I deserve this hangover.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
