I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
