I'm gonna have a badass scar
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
