i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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