Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
