so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Someone signed my nipple.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
