So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
