life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
