In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
