i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
As shirtless as possible
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
