I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
