Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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