Yo dont text me then not text me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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