I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
