if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
