did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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