Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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