She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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