dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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