is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
