Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize