So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
