whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
