I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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