Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(516): View more from New York

Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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(404): View more from Georgia

What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?

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(214): View more from Texas

Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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(618): View more from Illinois

She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table

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(613): View more from Ontario

I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it

(840): View more from

hahahahaha

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