OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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