Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
