Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
