while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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