well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
