so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
